“It’s Not a Small Thing”: What Hair Loss Really Feels Like — and What a Skilled Stylist Can Do About It
The following was written by one of our longtime clients. She asked us to share her story because she wants other people experiencing hair loss to know that there are real solutions — and that the right stylist makes all the difference. We’re sharing it in her words.
Hair is something I have taken for granted my whole life. Unlike weight or emotions, it was something that, while I often wished for thicker hair or hair with more curl, could be bent to my will and whim. I could change the color, perm it, cut it, grow it out, have bangs or no bangs. It was always there.
Until it wasn’t.
It was gradual — although when I look at older photos, I see bare spots that I guess were there for a while, but I didn’t notice them because I was more concerned about my weight or clothes.
As my hair started disappearing — mostly from the top of my head at first, then on the sides, and a little in the back — I became more anxious, more self-conscious, and then depressed.
Fortunately, I have an amazingly understanding, creative hairdresser who gets it. If you’re lucky enough to have a hairdresser like him, you know that in some ways your hairdresser is also your therapist — better than your therapist, because he has solutions that can be acted upon.
Richard deeply understands the connection between self-esteem and hair. But miraculously, he is also a master at creating solutions with hair extensions. He listened to my anxieties and, yes, my pain. Is losing your hair due to unknown reasons the same as an illness or other catastrophes? I told myself no, it’s not the worst thing. But as a friend who is a therapist tells me — if you’re going through it and you’re in emotional pain, then you’re in emotional pain. It’s not a competition. And losing hair causes emotional pain.
When you’re losing hair, you need an empathetic hairdresser. But even more than empathy, you need a hairdresser who is an artist. It’s not just a matter of picking extensions that match your color and attaching them. Where to place them, what texture to choose, how many to use — it’s art. It’s about thinking outside the box. It’s about listening to the client and hearing where it’s hard to style, or where gaps make her feel self-conscious.
Richard heard me, and we began a hair extension journey.
He listened to my experience each time and evaluated what he had done previously to make wearing extensions as easy as possible. If there were issues, he brainstormed how to deal with them. Each visit, he solved a problem — making the result look more natural and easier to care for. Sometimes it was using different shades to create highlights. Sometimes it was hair with more wave or curl. And then there’s the cut — cutting strategically to create the most natural volume and thickness.
It’s hard to express the impact that hair extensions have made on my mental health. It seems like magic, but it’s a blessing. There are so few physical problems that have a real fix. I feel fortunate to be able to afford them, and to have a family who understands that losing hair is both a physical and emotional issue.
I feel even more fortunate to have a hairdresser who approaches extensions as art and science — while keeping in mind my finances and emotional well-being. I keep saying hairdresser, but he is also my friend. My hairdresser and friend for over 15 years.
Not everyone can be that fortunate. But every hairdresser needs to be two things at once: the honest friend who tells you the truth about how you look and helps you find a fix — who listens, because that’s what someone losing hair needs. And the expert who wields the tools, knowledge, and experience to make it right. It’s a partnership. The client knows where the lack of hair is most pressing. The hairdresser takes that information and performs their art.
I hope this helps people who are losing their hair feel comfortable starting their own extension journey. What a blessing — to not have to think about your hair, knowing it looks lovely, and feeling good about presenting yourself to the world.
It’s not a small thing. It’s a huge thing to have one less big thing to worry about. What a gift to yourself.
A Note From Richard and Cristine
We share this story with our client’s permission because it captures something we believe deeply: this work matters beyond technique. Crown placement, color blending, bond selection — those are skills we teach. But the ability to listen, to understand what a client is really asking for, and to solve a problem that affects how she moves through the world — that’s what turns a stylist into someone irreplaceable.
Our client’s hair loss was concentrated on top of her head. Most extension methods can’t address that area. Our resin bond method can — and does — because it was designed for exactly these placements: crown, top of head, hairline, and areas where thinning is most visible and most painful.
If you’re a stylist who wants to do this kind of work for the clients who need it most, the Extend USA certification teaches you how. If you’re someone experiencing hair loss and looking for a solution, our Certified Stylists page can help you find a trained professional near you.